We All Fall Down Part II

[yansadracan]

Title: We All Fall Down Part II
Author: YanzaDracan
Beta:
Artist: tiggeratl1
Characters/Pairings: Christian Kane; Steve Carlson; Jensen Ackles; Jared Padalecki; Danneel Harris; Tim Hutton; Beth Riesgraf; OCs; Robert Riggle; Rob Huebel; Sandy & Chris Carlson; Rosalee & Darren Sher
Rating: R
Genre: RPS
Warning: Mentions of Characters death! Language
Word Count: 7,880/34,815
Summary: The massive earth changes happen Thanksgiving 2012. A sanctuary in all the chaos and destruction is the SC-KANE ranch in Broken Bow, OK. Who survived and what happens next? Will his family accept Jensen and sacrifices he made for them? Based on the earth changes maps of Gordon Michael Scallion. Images in my head from Steve Carlson's song Quarter To Three.

For the seriousness of the situation, Christian felt almost content. He sent prayers out for friends lost and those whose fate was unknown, but as he followed the ambling black cattle in front of him he felt relaxed, alert and strangely enough, at home in his own skin for the first time in a long time. Watching Cody quarter back and forth like he'd been herding cattle all his life, they followed Jensen across the field, Parker and Spencer trotted along each side keeping the herd together, Christian felt they'd slipped out of the present and into another time

He and Cody stayed with the cattle while Jensen and his guard dogs rode the fence line. Jensen couldn't cover the entire ranch alone in a day, but the four men could. Sandy wasn't as proficient with weapons as he'd like, but was skilled enough for around the protection of the house-they'd make up a schedule after supper.

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They soon settled into a routine. Jensen, Christian and Steve riding out in the mornings while Sandy and Chris stayed around the house unpacking crates and making lists of items they needed, keeping an eye on the house's systems to make sure they were working properly.

When the house was close to completion, Christian and Steve had sold everything they didn't need, including Christian's house in Nashville and moved it all to the ranch. Even with the crates Jensen had shipped, there were a lot of little things they'd need to get through the winter. There were also a few staples like flour, sugar, coffee and salt they would always need to replenish. Nobody liked the thought of Jensen without coffee.

Cell service had been off more than on. They hadn't heard anything from any of their missing friends, and no one had miraculously pulled up to the house. They began to let themselves grieve for those lost.

%%%%%

He finished cleaning Stoney's stall with a deep sigh, worried about Jensen. Since the weather had turned bad, they were keeping the animals close to the shelter of the barn, but the younger man continue to ride out every day, Parker, Spencer and sometimes Cody his silent shadows.

Steve had joked Jensen went more 'Jeremiah Johnson' every day as he often returned to the house with a deer, turkeys, grouse or rabbits thrown across Stoney's saddle, or a wild hog dragging behind.

The two men continued to work on Jensen, trying to subtly draw him to them, but he constantly dug in his heels. They counted every night they coaxed him to sleep with them a win, though he consistently managed to escape from between them before they woke.

%%%%%

The house being underground meant the temperature rarely dropped below 55 degrees. Their body heat and heat from cooking added several degrees, but when the days were cloudy, with no sun for the passive solar, it was nice to have a fire in the wood stove to take the chill and damp from the house. It also added a cozy ambience.

Glad they had the windmill to backup the solar panels; they were still Spartan with the use of electricity so as to not deplete their bank of batteries. The crate of oil and solar powered lamps were a welcome find for the household.

Often Jensen would harness Dan and Jack, their team of black work horses load the wagon with tools and weatherproof containers. Sometimes he'd return the same day sometimes it'd be several days, but always he came with firewood, game, or news from the surrounding ranches. They too had hunkered down until it was seemed safe to venture out.

These times made everyone worry as they waited for Jensen to return. They were glad to have a support network from the surrounding ranches, but were aggravated at the younger man for pulling away from their love and care.

%%%%%

News since Thanksgiving was still sketchy though satellite and cell service had become a little more reliable. Many of the government officials had survived along with the President, Vice-President and members of the military that had been east of Colorado. What states remained were under martial law. The electrical grid was more reliable though many places were still in the midst of repairs. Hospitals and emergency personnel received preferential treatment, TV and radio stations were high on the priority list so survivors could be kept up-to-date on the latest developments.

A week before Christmas, winter came in with a roar. Winters in Oklahoma usually weren't long, but they could be brutal. With the new west coast only seven hundred miles away, no one knew how the area's weather was going to be affected. Cold damp air made all his old injuries complain, but so far they'd only had a few inches of snow making Christian thankful he'd gotten his neighbor to harvest the ranch's hay last summer as he listened to the animals quietly munching.

Certain they wouldn't be able to get the supplies they needed in Broken Bow, a trip to Oklahoma City was going to have to be planned. Jensen had passed the news of the trip on to their neighbors. Since the SC-KANE Ranch was central to the four bordering ranches, everyone met there to bring their lists and money for supplies. Three days before Christmas everything was readied, trailers hitched to Christian and Jensen's trucks, weapons cleaned and cold weather gear and changes of clothes packed. After a lot of debate, they decided the younger men would make the trip, leaving Sandy and Chris to take care of the ranch. Spencer travelled with Jensen while Parker was left with Sandy and Chris.

The weather had cleared, but they kept to the back roads, watching for threats. They were a little south of Midwest City when they pulled off the road and stowed their rifles and shotguns in compartments they'd retrofitted into the trucks. They didn't want to take a chance of all their weapons being confiscated. Having Tinker AFB south of Oklahoma City and a National Guard unit within the city along with a detachment of Marines and the Army at Ft. Sill, had the men thinking the cities would be locked down.

The soldiers guarding the southern entrance to Oklahoma City were alert, professional, and didn't give them any trouble. They were able to direct them to several areas where they might be able to find the items they needed. Finding parking not too far from the markets the soldiers had indicated. Jensen and Spencer stayed with the trucks while Christian and Steve went to gather their supplies.

Jensen sat on the tailgate smoking a cigarette, Spencer leaned against his side. He watched an Army truck full of men, women and children pull into the lot. Blonde hair drew Jensen's eye to the people climbing out of the open truck. Something made him stand and start walking toward them after telling Spencer to stay with the truck.

"Beth?!?" Jensen called.

The blonde's head snapped up at his voice.

"Jensen! Oh my god! Jen!" She broke and ran towards him. In true Parker fashion she launched herself into his arms.

Jensen braced himself and gladly accepted the weight. She stayed wrapped around him for several minutes before allowing him to set her back on her feet.

"What about Tim, Aldis and Pilot? Was anyone traveling with you? Where are you staying? Christian and Steve are pickin' up some stuff then we're goin' back to the ranch." Jensen said in rush.

"Wow. You haven't been talking much have you?" She teased.

Jensen blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. We've been sorta grievin' for everyone."

"Pilot and I flew into Will Rogers like we planned. Aldis' plane was supposed to leave four hours after us, but the pilot said the earthquakes started two hours after we left Los Angeles. We we're going to grab a rental car and drive down, but there were none, the military hustled everyone who wasn't a resident to the camps. A few days later some soldiers patrolling the Interstate brought in Tim and Milo. They were driving…doing the father and son vacation thing. There was an accident and Tim got hurt and they were stuck out in the middle of nowhere for a long time, and the doctors are worried about Tim recovering from his injuries. Our phone batteries are all dead, so we didn't have any way to get a hold of anyone. They've only recently started letting us use their field phones for non-emergencies calls. So they're all back at the camp while I came to get some stuff. They bring us to the market every couple days, but they're getting ready to move us to the Oklahoma University campus in Norman because of the weather." Beth hugged him again hardly able to believe he was real.

"Will they let you come home with us? Is there any reason for you to stay here?" Jensen asked.

"We can leave anytime. They encourage it, actually, but I don't know if Tim will be able to leave." Beth's eyes were bright with tears.

"As soon as Christian and Steve get back we'll go pick up everyone up and take you home."

Beth hugged him hard again. "I almost gave up that we'd ever get to you guys." She sniffed.

Arm still wrapped around Beth's waist, Jensen talked to the soldier driving the truck, and got directions to the camp. They settled on the tailgate watching for Christian and Steve.

An hour later, the two men returned with trolleys stacked with bags and boxes. Beth jumped down off the tailgate as they got closer. Jensen relieved Christian his trolley, allowing him to run to Beth and grab her up in his arms. They held each other for so long Steve turned to Jensen and spoke in a stage whisper to draw their attention.

"Good thing I'm not the jealous type."

Next thing he knew, his arms were full of a crying, smiling Beth.

While they continued their reunion, Jensen started sorting the supplies. Supplies for the neighbors went in the stock trailer on Christian's truck while theirs went on the trailer behind his pickup. Knowing Christian wouldn't want to be separated from Beth, they headed toward the camp.

%%%%%

Jensen went to the camp commander's office to check through the lists of survivors hoping to find other of their friends. Steve paused where they separated, wanting to be with Christian, but also wanting to follow Jensen.

It saddened him to see the younger man isolating himself, afraid of getting too close---of being hurt again. They'd all gotten so caught up in the day to day survival of their family that they weren't pushing Jensen hard enough to force him to them.

Mind made up, he trailed after Jensen.

"Jense! Wait up, man!"

Surprise showed on the freckled face before his usual mask dropped in place.

"'Sup?" His surprise still showed in his voice.

"Two sets of eyes are better than one."

"But…Christian…"

"Can gather up his friends and their stuff while we see who else might be here."

They'd been through most of the lists when Jensen stopped, his hand taking Steve's arm in a bruising grip.

"Jensen?" Steve turned to see a man on the verge of breaking.

Eyes closed, his face had turned white, twisted with pain. Steve snatched the list Jensen had been reading and quickly scanned down the page. His heart leapt into his throat then plummeted to his stomach when he read the names in front of him.

He felt the prick of tears when he saw the names of his partners…the brother and sister of his heart, Darren and Rosalee Sher. Right below that were two names he thought never to see again. Danneel and Jared Padalecki. He looked back at Jensen ready to offer his support, but the hated mask was firmly back in place reminding Steve that Jensen always was a hell of an actor.

"Guess we better go see what's going on and pack Darren and Rose up with the Leverage crew." Jensen stood waiting on Steve.

They took the list to the clerk and got directions to the section of camp wherein lie joy and pain.

%%%%%

Steve pulled out his cell and thanked the electronic gods he had a signal. Talking to Christian as he and Jensen headed toward the opposite side of the camp once again set his emotions on a rollercoaster.

"Beth, and the boys are fine, but Tim's not healin' as well as the doctors would like. Milo's still shook over his dad bein' hurt. Watchin' him lay in the wreck and not being able to do anythin' has got 'im real skittish. The doc said that 'cause of the time Tim was trapped with no medical help they can't predict how well he'll recover."

"We'll handle it, Kane. Just figure out how we're getting them home." Steve looked up to see Rosalee wrapped around Jensen while a very pale Danneel watched. "I gotta try and get Jensen through this in one piece." He ended the call and shoved the phone in his pocket in time to open his arms to someone he thought he'd never see again.

%%%%%

Jensen stared at his wife as though seeing an apparition. He was about to go to her when sound from behind him made her look over his shoulder and her face lit up. He didn't want to turn around…didn't want to know which of his friends had betrayed him. He should go-now-not look back. He doesn't need to know, doesn't need the additional scars on his heart. He closed his eyes, straightened his spine and prepared himself to turn around and see…

Darren Sher and Jared Padalecki came around the corner of their tent as Rosalee squealed and flung herself into the arms of a man with blond hair lying in waves over his shoulders…

…Shoulders that Darren knew as well as his own. He dropped his bag and joined his wife in holding onto Steve.

Seeing Darren run to Steve, Danneel looked over Jensen's shoulder to see Jared. Her face lit up when she saw the big man. He still had the boyish good looks that had caught her eye when Jensen had introduced them, six years before. Her eyes flicked from Jared to Jensen. Looking into the stony countenance of her husband's face, Danneel was at a loss. Frozen in place between her legal husband and self-proclaimed husband, time seemed to stop and she felt as though the air had been sucked out of the bubble created by the men in her life.

The air returned so fast it made her dizzy when Jensen turned and saw Jared. The blankness that passed over his features turned his face into a beautiful marble mask. Her mobility returned at Jared's shocked gasp. Danneel turned to see the look of surprise then anger on Steve's face. He said something she couldn't hear to Darren and Rosalee before starting toward Jensen.

It was Jared that really set everyone in motion.

"Jen…" He dropped his bag and reached for his former…everything.

%%%%%

A month after the wedding, Jared regretted wanting to be normal. Whereas his parents' home had been noisy and boisterous there had also been love and respect. The Cortes household was one of constant strife and turmoil, passion and cold silences. Genevieve considered that normal, and proceeded to duplicate that in their home.

It had been exhausting, and after a year, Jared admitted defeat. He packed a bag, kenneled the dogs, and headed out of the country for a quickie divorce. Afterwards he picked up the dogs and slept for the most peaceful week he'd had since he'd told Jensen he was getting married.

After Supernatural ended when Jensen refused to sign for another season, he stayed in the CW stable while he waited for scripts to come his way. He wasn't getting considered for any of the roles he thought he should so he started taking roles as a secondary character in a few films that did okay, hoping it would put him in line for leading roles, but nothing he did garnered the success of Jensen's projects.

In his last movie, Danneel had played the female lead. It had been awkward at first, but after spending time together off the set, they both realized they'd both underestimated Jensen and were suffering the consequences of their hasty decisions. They found it easy to resume the friendship they'd started during Supernatural, but they both felt guilt ridden over cheating on Jensen. On the last day of shooting, Danneel told Jared her lawyer was drawing up divorce papers that would be ready when she set got home from their location filming.

As they lay in bed that last night, Jared told her his fantasy of having a 'normal life' with a wife and a life with Jensen at the same time. Danneel had stared at him until he began to feel uncomfortable then she started to laugh. When she finally got herself back under control and wiped her eyes she snuggled back down against Jared.

"Oh Jared, honey, I don't mean to laugh, but Jensen doesn't share. The only thing he ever shared was Steve and Christian."

By the time filming was over they were in love, and trying to think up ways they could convince Jensen to stay with them.

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Now that fantasy stood before them, close cropped russet beard, body whipcord lean from the hard physical labor of the past month. They stood momentarily mute before they began moving toward each other in an attempt to pin Jensen between them.

Steve looked up from where he was clutched between Darren and Rosalee and saw what was happening.

"Guys, I gotta stop Jensen from killin' someone." He whispered as he let go and started to move. The couple followed on his heels.

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Jared's hand froze when he saw the look on Jensen's face. The normally jade colored eyes blazed gold with anger as he looked between him and Danneel. Frightened, Jared stepped close enough to bring Danneel against his side. Jensen sneered at the couple.

The tableau was interrupted by Steve's quiet voice.

"Jense."

The anger drained from Jensen's face when he turned to look at Steve. His expression softened when he saw Rosalee and Darren.

"I'll be done here in a minute." He turned back to face his wife and ex-lover-ex-best friend.

Steve tensed when he saw Jensen reach under his coat. He knew the younger man carried a shoulder holster along with the gun strapped against his thigh. He nearly sagged with relief when Jensen pulled an envelope from his inner coat pocket and handed it to Danneel.

"My wife died when California fell into the ocean."

He turned back to Steve.

"I'll be helping Christian get the trucks loaded." He walked away without another word.

Danneel looked at the envelope. She gasped when she saw the return address for a law firm that now only existed on the corner of the envelope. She pulled out the papers and saw Jensen's signature at the bottom of the page. She was officially a single woman.

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Jensen stalked across the camp, the iron grip he had on his emotions the only thing keeping him upright. If he stopped to think about the betrayal of his wife-ex-wife, he'd probably go back and shoot Jared somewhere crippling to make them both feel a small portion of his pain.

As he got closer to Christian and the Leverage crew, he locked down everything and was prepared to do what was necessary for the survival of 'his' family.

As he stalked across the camp, coat tails flapping like raven's wings, a familiar voice called his name.

"ACKLES!"

Jensen stopped long enough to see who yelled coming face to face with comedian, actor, friend and Marine Corps Reserve Lt. Colonel Robert Riggle.

"Riggs! Great to see ya, dude." Jensen drew him into a back slapping hug. "Glad ya made it."

"Yeah, well, Marine and all-never doubted I'd see you. You bein' such a paranoid badass and all."

"You've mistaken me for my short, homely friend, Kane." Jensen put on a good front for his friend. "Rob?"

"With me." His expression softened.

"Good to hear. I'm happy for ya, man." Jensen tucked his thumbs in his gunbelt. "So why you hollerin' at me across camp like a Sunset Strip hooker?"

The Colonel looked sheepish. "Walk with me, Jensen."

The men continued the same path Jensen was taking when Riggle interrupted his headlong flight from Jared and Danneel.

" Kane's place is out by Broken Bow…backs up to the state park?"

"Yeah, Hochatown, but you knew that or you wouldn't have asked." Jensen frowned.

The big man blushed.

"One of the things they've got my Marines in charge of besides getting these people moved down to Norman is information gathering." He paused as though he hated what he was about to ask. "I need eyes down there, Jensen. State and national parks are the first places the militia nuts and bad guys think to hang out." He pulled Jensen to a stop. "You bein' a civilian I have no right to ask, but my guys would stand out like sore thumbs down there, but no one would question you being out and about the area…"

"You want me to do recon for you?" Jensen arched an eyebrow at his friend.

"Yeah." The Colonel looked hopeful.

"What do I get for taking a chance of gettin' shot or worse?"Jensen face and tone turned hard.

"Come with me." Riggles was all business.

Jensen left the Colonel's office with a satellite phone and an order to receive a crate at the gate.

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After Jensen stalked off, his anger so palatable even the soldiers moved out of his path, Danneel looked at her friends from The Omnitone for understanding only to see three angry looks directed at her and Jared.

"Steve, wait." Danneel pleaded.

"For what?" His tone was cold. "Of all the people you could have shown up with, HE's the worst."

"I know, but we fell in love and we need to get to San Antonio to look for Jared's family. They're all we have left."Knowing they must have some kind of transportation, Danneel looked at her friends of many years.

"Good luck with that." The blue/green eyes were full of contempt as they swept over the couple. "Let's get your stuff so we can head home." Steve headed into the tent behind Darren and Rosalee.

"Steve, please?" Danneel tried again.

Holding the flap open, he turned around. "I'm sorry, but you and Jared have almost single handedly destroyed someone we love. How do I ask Jensen to subject himself to having you around rubbing his nose in…this?" He waved his hand at them. "You know…never mind. I refuse to ask someone I love to go through that kind of pain."

When she had no answer he went inside to help gather the Shers' belongings.

%%%%%

With Tim injured, Christian would drive Jensen's truck with Beth, Tim and the boys while Jensen drove Christian's with Steve, Rosalee and Darren. They double checked the supplies for their neighbors were all packed in the stock trailer so Christian could go straight to the house.

Christian was anxious to get the injured Hutton back to the ranch. He left the truck idling to keep everyone warm while he helped Darren and Rosalee stow their gear in the bed. For safety's sake they needed to stay together since Christian was the only one in his truck armed. He was finishing the last round of checking hitches, tires and safety chains when he was stopped by Jensen's calling his name softly.

Jensen told Christian to move Tim into his room since it had bathroom and was closest to the living areas. Christian started to protest, but the light touch on his arm and Jensen's quiet baritone left no room for the older man to argue. When Jensen got that soft look in his eyes no one refused him, not even a hard ass like Christian Kane.

Jensen's deal with Colonel Riggle had its perks so he led them to the fuel depot before they headed back to the ranch. Too overcome with the excitement of finding some of their friends, neither Christian nor Steve questioned being able to refuel from the military's supply.

The weather remained cloudy and cold with snow forecasted to start around midnight. They all hoped they would be home by then.

It was after eight when Christian turned in the ranch's driveway while Jensen drove on to the neighbors.

Christian and Steve had kept receipts for all the supplies they bought. They'd carried extra cash out of their reserve in case the neighbors had run short so by the time Jensen, Steve and the Shers got to the ranch, the truck bed was piled high with hay bales and the trailer contained chickens, a pair of pigs, two milk cows, and more hay.

Darren called Jensen Noah and joked about riding in the Ark. Jensen gave his opinion one finger at a time as he pulled up to the house.

They unloaded Darren, Rosalee, and the supplies before Jensen drove toward the barn with Parker happily running behind the truck, satisfied now that her master and Spencer were finally home.

Prepared to sleep in the barn if they ran out of room in the house, Jensen was surprised when he went back in the house and found Sandy had laid out a late supper for the travelers. He thought after this afternoon's confrontation with Danneel and Jared that he'd never eat again, but seeing Sandy, Christian and Steve watching, he did the best he could, but exhaustion soon set in and all he wanted was a shower and a bed.

Steve and Christian exchanged a look as they watched Jensen finally succumb to the stress and exhaustion he'd been carrying around since the earthquakes began. With a grin, they took pity on him.

"We moved your stuff to our room." Steve volunteered.

With a careless wave, Jensen staggered toward the bedrooms. When he didn't come back out, the men exchanged a look of victory. With everyone else was settled, they secured the house and retired to their room where they were met by a sight that was a gift better than finding their friends alive, and that was finding Jensen voluntarily in the middle of their big bed sound asleep.

Christian pulled Steve in tight to his side. "We're gonna git this sorted out real soon 'cause that's where Jenny's supposed to be." Christian whispered as he pulled Steve toward the bed.

He woke the next morning feeling more rested than he had since the day their world stopped. Slipping out from under Steve, he got dressed and checked on Tim. He found the older man resting peacefully, Beth curled up beside him. Pilot and Milo were curled like puppies in the middle of an air mattress tucked along the wall.

Smiling he headed toward the kitchen expecting to see Jensen, but the room was empty and coffee made. The air held a bit of a chill so he laid a fire in the stove. Sipping his coffee while he watched the fire he wondered how Jensen had moved around their room without waking him or Steve since they were all notoriously light sleepers. It was amazing what having your family alive and well did for your ability to sleep.

A rush of cold air and dogs startled Christian out of his revelry as Jensen came in carrying two buckets. One filled with milk warm from the cow, and the other with brown and white eggs.

"Figured you'd still be asleep."

"Would be, but the cow's on a schedule." Jensen grumbled as he headed for the kitchen.

Following Mrs. Rivers instructions, he strained the milk for hair and bits of dirt before pouring it into a pitcher. He took time to scribble a note for everyone to either stir the milk or skim the cream before drinking. Washing the eggs he placed them in bowl and set them beside the milk. Only then did he pour a cup of coffee and join Christian in front of the fire.

"How's Tim doin'?"

"Restin'. Guess everyone else is decompressin' after worryin' and grievin' the past month." He reached out and clasped Jensen free hand. "How ya doin', Jenny?"

"Me? I'm fine." Hearing Christian's snort he turned to face him. "I already thought she was dead, knew she was gonna divorce me so…" He shrugged and settled back with his feet on the ottoman, resting against Christian's side.

Christian didn't move, afraid of breaking the spell or whatever it was that had Jensen relaxed against him like a hundred morning afters they'd shared in the past. He was starting to hope coaxing Jensen permanently into their bed was going to be easy now that the boy had closure with Danneel and Jared, but that hope was dashed when a bedroom door opened and closed. Jensen was off the couch and grabbing his coat and boots before Christian could protest.

Steve came around the corner in time to see Jensen and the four dogs going out the door. He turned to ask Christian a question, and backed up a step at the glare directed his way.

"What?...Christian?" Steve bumped against the counter in his haste to back up. "Ow!"

Christian was next to him in a heartbeat, pulling him into his arms.

"Sorry, darlin'. Didn't mean to be cross-Jenny was…" He trailed off as he buried his face in Steve's neck and breathed deep.

"Christian?"

"He was so like old Jenny, restin' against me then the door slammed…" He drew a deep breath and let it out before straightening. "Guess sleepin' in our bed is a long way from what we want." He grabbed a kiss from the blond. "Better git breakfast. Jen provided fresh milk and eggs. Might have to go coax 'im back from the barn." Christian yanked the refrigerator door open.

"Sorry, babe." Steve crooned moving to help.

"Not yer fault he's jumpy as a gobbler on Thanksgiving." Christian moved toward the coffee pot. "We've probably found everyone we're gonna…we can git back in a routine then I'm thinkin' it's time we git to seriously workin' on that little project."

"You mean you, me and Jensen?" Steve's eyebrows rose.

"That's the one."

Decision made, they got to work on breakfast.

%%%%%

Jensen didn't stop his flight from the house until he was back in the barn. He stood inside the door letting the sounds of the animals soothe his nerves while he fought to slow his breathing. He slipped. Let exhaustion lower his defenses and lean into Christian's warmth. The three of them had always been close with Jensen waking up many a morning between the two men, but he knew what happened when you stood between two people in love. He should have learned his lesson with Jared, but it took Danneel and Jared together to finally drive it into his hard head that there was always something other than his love people wanted and once they had it, it was Jensen's heart left bleeding in the dirt.

He grabbed a shovel and started cleaning stalls. He spent extra time grooming Stoney and Christian's mare. Sensing Jensen's distress, Red Dawn reached around and lipped the brown strands that had grown out to curl over his collar as Jensen ran the brushes over her pregnant belly.

"Spoiled little lady aren't ya." Jensen straightened up and rubbed the broad forehead. "Can't wait to see the pretty baby ya give Kane." He moved out of her stall to the work horses.

He harnessed the team and hitched them to the manure spreader gasping at the freezing bite of the wind. He pulled his watch cap down tight and his hood up as he closed the doors. Climbing up on the seat he started the team for hay field to spread his smelly load.

Caring for the animals reminded him of the horses he'd had growing up. He called and talked to his family when service was available, but things always sounded hectic, and though everyone sent their love they never asked for him to come home-said they were glad he was with Steve and Christian. Obviously no room at the Ackles Inn, and that was fine he told himself. He knew he didn't fit in with them anymore.

Man and animals alike were feeling the cold by the time Jensen drove the team back into the barn. He made sure the big blacks were rubbed down and their feet free of snow before checking the other animals and heading toward the house. Evita had long since retreated to the warmth of the house, but Cody, Parker and Spencer raced from the barn to the house. The snow around the house showed signs that other members of the household had been outside, but he made sure the wood storage by the front door was full, checked the battery house and solar panels before stopping to remove his coats and boots in the sheltered walkway between the outside and the house. It'd take until the evening milking for him to get the feeling back in his fingers and toes.

%%%%%

The clock showed closer to lunch than breakfast, Sandy and Rosalee scowled from where they were setting lunch on the table. He locked his guns in the cabinet before heading to the bathroom to wash up. Hand on the door knob he heard voices coming from his room and remembered Tim, Beth and the boys. He continued down the hall. Christian and Steve's room was the furthest back with the recording studio, storage rooms and office down a hallway to the left. A couple of unfinished rooms on the right would have to be set up for the boys. A sigh of relief escaped him when he saw the light in the studio. Gathering his things they'd moved into their room, he carried everything to the office then went to wash up for lunch before he ended up deeper in Sandy's dog house.

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A cup of hot coffee was waiting on the counter when he got back to the kitchen. Beth and the boys had come into the living area while he'd been washing up. The boys chattered away while everyone settled around the table, Darren and Steve supported Tim from the bedroom to the couch.

Worried, Milo hovered around his dad until Sandy called them all to the table. Jensen grabbed the lap tray and carried it to the couch where he settled it across Tim's lap.

Asking and answering looks were exchanged, but Jensen didn't move to the table until he watched the injured man start to eat.

He listened to the chatter around him as dishes were passed and plates filled. They'd dug out Christian, Steve's, and the Carlsons' salvaged Christmas decorations and had begun to decorate the house. They'd even gone out and found a small cedar tree that was just the right size for the corner by windows, filling the house with its scent. Jensen felt as though he was sitting in an isolation booth as sound flowed around him without touching him.

He never saw the worried looks that were exchanged across the table as he merely picked at his lunch. A small noise from Tim found him at the man's side without a thought of moving. He carried the half finished tray to the kitchen then patted down his pockets for his cell phone. Without a word, he moved to the upstairs living area where the pool table and electronic games were kept. Moving to the furthest corner from stairs, he pushed the number for his mother's cell.

"This better be good. For all this thing rarely rings-you couldn't have picked a worse time." His mother grumbled into the phone.

"Sorry." Cut to the bone, Jensen ended the call.

He rarely called anyone since the signals were still spotty and he didn't have anyone but his family to call, and now apparently that was unwelcome. He laid the phone down and went to get dressed and once again collect his guns.

Seeing Jensen unlock the gun cabinet, Beth caught him before he went out the door, asking if he'd go around to the neighbors and invite them over for Christmas dinner, and to check for eggs 'cause they needed them to make dessert for tomorrow. Oh and could he walk the dogs before he left because she was really busy. With a nod, Jensen settled his guns and moved to the outer porch for his parka.

"If they ask if they can bring something?" He asked quietly.

"Whatever they want to contribute. I think it'd be good to get to know one another a little better, introduce the boys to the kids in the 'neighborhood'." Beth offered. She turned away when Sandy and Chris came into the room. "Maybe we can talk about how they're schooling their kids. Who knows when they'll be any kind of organized schooling going again…" Beth continued to chatter as she walked away.

She headed toward the kitchen with Sandy leaving a bewildered Jensen looking after them as Chris chuckled.

"You know how women get at Christmas, Son?"

"Uh…sure." He turned toward the door calling the dogs.

Steve was upstairs looking for a CD when he heard a phone ring. Looking around he saw the light flashing on the table in the corner. Seeing 'Mom' on the ID he hurried to answer.

"Jensen?" She sounded a bit frantic.

"It's Steve. What's wrong, Donna?"

"The phone rang a couple hours ago and things were really hectic and I yelled at whoever called. I just looked at my phone and saw it was Jensen. Is he there?"

"Actually I haven't seen him since lunch." A note of concern entered Steve's voice.

"When you see him tell him I'm sorry I yelled and have him call me."

"Sure as soon as I see him." Steve assured her.

Steve went through the house looking for Jensen. He saw the milk pail sitting on the counter along with another pail with several eggs. He threw on his coat and boots and headed for the barn. He saw Christian in the stall with Red Dawn while Darren leaned against the stall.

"Christian, where's Jen?"

"He was going out across the field toward the Rivers' place with Spencer, Cody and Parker when I came out to the barn." Christian continued brushing the mare.

'He doesn't have his phone." Steve stood flexing his hands into fists needing to do something, but not knowing what.

Christian finished with the mare.

"That's odd. He never leaves without his phone."

"I was upstairs when I heard it ring…it was Donna. She said Jensen had called, but she didn't know it was him and yelled and hung up 'cause she was in the middle of something with the kids."

"Ya ask yer mom?"

"Her and Rose didn't know anything, but Beth had a funny look on her face…"

It was long past supper and dark. The wind and snow had picked up. The crackling of the wood stove was the only sound in the house. Christian stood at the windows staring into the darkness arms crossed over his chest. Steve sat close by, his guitar resting on his lap, but his fingers were still. Rosalee and Darren had taken the boys up to the game room to play quietly, Sandy and Chris were watching their worried boys, Beth was on the couch with Tim, her eyes and nose red from crying when fear for Jensen caused Christian's temper to snap.

"God damn it, Beth! How can you fuck shit up after being here one day! This ain't like drivin' to the corner store." Christian shouted before stalking off to stare out the window.

"Why didn't he just say something?" Tim tried to play peace maker. "Jensen's not one to just lie down."

"Because he knew how worried Christian had been about you guys, and we may all be stuck together here a long time. He didn't want to start things off with hard feelings and arguments. He's had a rough couple days, gave up his bed, hasn't been sleepin'…" Steve closed his mouth with a snap and followed Christian before he said something he'd regret later.

So they waited. Sandy was keeping everyone in coffee and hot chocolate. She and Chris had settled on one of the other couches after helping Beth get Tim into bed when Evita went racing from the bedroom toward the outside door.

Christian, Steve and Chris threw on their gear, switched on all the floodlights, ran out into the storm. Parker and Spencer lay on either side of Jensen with Cody lying on top of him trying to keep the fallen man warm.

Christian and Steve went to their knees while Chris continued to the barn.

"I'll check on Stoney." He called.

They checked Jensen for injuries, but finding none, they each got under a shoulder and hoisted the younger man to his feet.

"Shit. He don't weigh nothin'." Christian complained as they started for the house, the three exhausted dogs following behind.

With Christian supporting the lax body, Steve stripped off Jensen's boots, Carhartt arctic coat and bibs before hauling him before the wood stove where Sandy appeared with comforter to wrap around him, Steve and Christian, as the other two used their body heat to warm the younger man.

She returned several minutes later with a mug of soup while Chris, Darren and the boys tended to the dogs.

"What were ya thinkin', Boy?" Christian muttered.

"Tryin' ta make things normal." Jensen slurred as he snuggled into their warmth. "Everyone's comin'." He started to struggle.

"Stay still, Jense." Steve cajoled as they tightened their grip.

"Stoney…the dogs…"

"Are fine. Dad checked Stoney, and the dogs are fine."

"Let's get you in bed." Steve and Christian started to maneuver Jensen off the couch.

"Do'n have a bed. Gave it to Tim." Jensen tried to lie back down. "Do'n need bed…too big."

"Come on, Jenny…uppy uppy." Christian stood bringing Jensen with him.

"Where we go'n?" Jensen mumbled.

"Bed."

"Ca'n. Steve wo'n like it." He tried to pull away only to bump into Steve.

"'S okay. Steve's gonna be there, too." Christian crooned.

"K." Jensen let himself go limp.

Before they got to the hallway, Sandy stepped in front of them. Christian actually growled, but Sandy just glared.

"It's what we all want but he's been fightin' it." Steve stared down his mother.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. We shoulda done this before Jared ever got a hold of 'im." Christian added.

Whatever she saw on their faces satisfied her as she stepped out of the way.

"Thanks, Ma." Steve gave her a quick peck on the cheek as they continued toward the master suite.

The last thing he remembered was rubbing down Stoney, making sure the stallion had been taken care of after their trek around the neighboring ranches and a little recon work for the Colonel. He blinked several times, but the room stayed pitch black, but he could feel the blessed heat…of someone's breath on the nape of his neck…there was a body plastered against his front.

The gods must really be laughing. The only place Jensen had ever wanted to be, and now that he was here all he could think about was getting away as fast as possible. He was a failure at relationships, and he would not be the reason Christian and Steve's almost fifteen year relationship went on the rocks. Now all he had to do was get from under Christian and out of Steve's hold.

Maybe it was time to think about going to Texas. He could stop and visit his family before moving on to…wherever. If he took Spook, Christian would have Stoney to stand stud and his truck. Yeah. That was a good plan. After New Year's he'd slip away. Maybe he could find Riggle's boogey men so they couldn't hurt his family.

He finally got his arm free of the covers and was able to see his watch. He needed a plan of escape. It was nearly time to do the milking. Sophie wouldn't appreciate being made to wait.

Jensen squirmed until the older men moved. He'd just cleared the covers when strong fingers closed around his wrist.

"Where goin'?" Christian grumbled.

"Take a piss."

"K." Christian pulled Steve against his chest and went back to sleep.

Jensen stood at the bathroom door letting night light beams fall over the room. He watched the pair fill the space he'd left then settle back to sleep. The weight in his chest took his breath and left him feeling lightheaded. He loved them so much it was better he leave before he did something foolish that would end his friendship with the couple.

He grabbed a change of clothes then headed for the other bathroom to keep from waking them.

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Looking out the windows, they were definitely having a white Christmas. The dogs danced around his feet as he fed the woodstove and started the coffeemaker before donning his black Carhartts and heading for the barn, Evita followed his steps to keep from getting buried in the foot of snow that had fallen overnight. The bigger dogs ran around the yard, rested from their adventures of the day before.

Everyone fed, eggs gathered, the gate to the lean-to open so the animals could wander into the pasture if the wind died; he turned his attention to Sophie, the dairy cow still giving milk. In a couple months June would be dropping her calf, giving Sophie a break until her calf was born next summer. If things went the way he envisioned, he wouldn't be here to see it.

Putting away those thoughts, he pulled off his heavy gloves to the fingerless gloves underneath. Bucket in place he settled his head against the warm brown flank and started to squeeze and pull while his melodic baritone rumbled soothingly through the barn.

Tucking Evita inside his coat, Jensen secured the barn door and headed back to the house with his morning bounty.

Letting the dogs inside to keep them out of the milk, Jensen peeled out of his snow covered coats and boots before taking care of the milk and eggs.

Grabbing a couple Christmas cookies and a cup of coffee, Jensen settled on the couch, feet on the coffee table to soak up the heat from the woodstove. He pulled the sat phone out of his pocket and sent some videos and photos back the Colonel's office in Norman.

Watching the flames through the glass door still exhausted from the day before, along with wading through the snow and cold to tend the animals, Jensen pulled the afghan off the back of the couch and closed his eyes for a nap before the rest of the household woke.

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Part 3