What Lurked In The Dark He Shied From

[yansadracan]

Title: What Lurked In The Dark He Shied From

Author: YanzaDracan

Fandom: Kane RPS & CWRPS

Characters: Chris/Steve/Jensen

Word Count: 3,804

Rating: R

Disclaimer: They’re not mine. IT’S FICTION - Something invented by the imagination or feigned; a useful illusion or pretense. Any goofs, gaffs, bending of facts, or mistakes are mine.

Summary: Dealing with the fallout.

Author’s Note: For lack of an idea we’ll call this the ‘What Happens ‘verse’. I blame Witchy78 as an evil enabler and my gluttony for ideas to play amongst. 
 

Unseeing eyes stared at the blank TV screen. He just had to hold it together another week. In a week he'd be in Portland. Sure it would be during ConCon, but he'd be surrounded by his own personal devils' trap that would hold off the demons that stalked him.

Huddled in the corner of the couch, wrapped in the oversized afghan Mama Kane had made them, he tried to take comfort in the scent of his partners that clung to its colorful threads.

After standing before their families at Christmas and making as public a commitment as they intended, the demons of his ordeal with Westman went back behind the devil's gate in the bottom of his mind. They'd made a whirlwind trip to Vegas for Steve's New Year's Eve show at the Monte Carlo before heading back to Dallas for the Eagles game then on to Nashville until Steve had to return to LA and Jensen to Vancouver.

He'd been fine until Jared's wedding. His relationship with Jared had smoothed out after the two nearly came to blows a few days after the Christmas hiatus ended. Genevieve had gone to LA to work on Fast Forward so Jared figured it was a good time to nag him into talking about their relationship. After a grueling day of shooting, and when weren't they grueling-Kripke was turning into a sadistic bastard, Jared had cornered him in his trailer. After a lot of yelling, hurt feelings and puppy eyes, their friendship got back on track, though he still hadn't told Jared about Steve and Christian.

Jared had gone all shy and stuttering when he asked him to be in their wedding party, and engulfed him in a full body hug when he accepted. They spent several weekends flying to Idaho for fittings and Genevieve gushing over the incredible deal they were getting on the rooms and catering for the wedding. Things had been great until the moment he was signing the hotel register.

There at the top of the page was his demon. A Member of the Westman Family of Hotels. His vision grayed until he remembered to breathe. He carefully turned to follow the bellman not wanting to upset the delicate balance between going to his room and running for the airport.

He tipped the porter and made a beeline for the mini-bar. Two tiny bottles of Jack later he felt like he might live through the weekend. He turned to survey the room he'd just walked blindly through. He almost felt sorry for the Cortes family bank account, as he walked over to the gift basket artfully arranged on the table.

Assuming the note card was one of those generic, 'Compliments of…' things, he laid it aside until he saw his name. Thinking it was something for members of the wedding party, he slid the card out of the envelope.

I know nothing that is said or done will ever repay the past, but I hope 'helping' your friends

with their wedding will be a small step in a positive direction.--------Arthur Westman

Jensen dropped the card and sprinted for the bathroom. Resting his head against the cool porcelain, he prayed to any deity listening to get him through the weekend.

He was barely holding on--the nights he had three way or video calls with Christian and Steve were his best. Hearing their voices seemed to settle him. Chris' excitement over how well his EP was selling-Steve calling from his tour gigs made his heart ache that he couldn't be with them, but helped barricade the nightmares from his sleep.

Three weeks with no physical contact and his senses were hyper alert not allowing him to rest, his nightmares waiting in dark corners to ambush his sleep. Kripke was starting to wear a permanent frown when they crossed paths.

"Jesus, Jensen. I know Dean's going through a rough patch, but you don't have to go down with him."

"Noisy neighbors." He gave Eric a leer.

"Change bedrooms or something. When you seein' your better thirds." He chuckled at his play on words.

"Next week at Devlin's Concon."

"Good. Think Devlin's nuts myself, but the man's got the touch."

"Rogers says he does Jedi mind tricks."

Kripke snorted as he walked away. "Have to see if he'll share his secret." He spun back so fast he almost fell over. "I don't want to hear the Leverage crew stole Dean Winchester." He grumbled at Jensen's snicker.

Now he sat counting the hours until he boarded his flight for PDX.

He held on until he walked into the condo. His duffel fell to the floor as exhausted legs carried him to the couch where he snatched up Christian's button down shirt. He buried his face in the soft flannel, inhaling the scent of leather, sweet grass, and pure Christian. He landed face down on the couch and was sound asleep in seconds.

Christian cursed as he as he tripped over something in the floor on his way to turn on a lamp. Shock had him cursing silently when he was startled by the body on the couch.

His expression softened when he saw Jensen asleep on the couch. His expression hardened when he noticed the dark circles and lines that hadn't been there when they separated in January. He took in how tightly Jensen held himself even asleep, how his fingers wrapped in the flannel shirt like it was a life preserver. He was still wearing his coat, and boots. It was his duffel Christian had tripped over when he entered the dark house.

Frowning, he snapped a picture with his phone and shot it off to Steve. When the phone rang a few minutes later, he'd shut himself in the bathroom so he didn't wake Jensen.

"What the fuck, man? Steve growled from Jamaica.

"Don't know. He's always seemed fine when we talked."

"Fuckin' actors."

"Hey now."

"I can't get there 'til Sunday morning." Steve was getting conflicted.

"Don't worry 'bout it, darlin'. I got 'im 'til ya git here."

"But the con…"

"I'll drag his ass there if I have to." Chris hissed.

"He wasn't planning on doing much until Dante's." Steve reminded.

"He should sleep for a fuckin' week."

"Like there'd be much sleepin'." Steve chuckled.

"We sleep." Christian blushed furiously.

"You're so cute when you blush."

"Don't blush."

"Love you."

"Git yer skinny ass here, soon. Love you, too." Christian ended the call.

Christian puttered around the condo finally coming to the conclusion take out was on the menu for dinner. He got Jensen to wake up and herded to the shower. He picked at his supper until Chris chased him off to bed. He was checking the locks when he heard the muffled sounds coming from the bedroom. Before he could make it to the room, Jensen came stumbling out wrapped in the comforter and headed for the couch.

"Whoa, jist hold your horses there, son. Where ya goin'?" Chris asked from the bathroom door.

He startled so bad, he tripped over the comforter and would have fallen if not for Christian grabbing his arm. He blinked owlishly a few times before rubbing his face with hands still fisted in the blanket.

"Chris?" He blinked a few more times then looked around the room.

His confused state was starting to worry Christian.

"Chris?" He repeated.

"Yeah." Chris gave a tug on his arm.

The force with which Jensen hit his body made him glad Beth made a habit of making him catch her. Christian held the younger man for a few minutes until his breathing returned to normal.

"C'mon, Jenny boy, time for bed." Chris moved them down the hall.

"To sleep?" He pulled back.

"Yeah, we can do that, too." Chris leered, but didn't like Jensen's anxiety about sleeping.

Green eyes lit up at the idea and he was soon dragging Christian down the hall. The first round of 'I've missed you so much can't wait to fuck you stupid' sex didn't last long. He hadn't seen Steve or Christian since January. Their second round of lovemaking reconnected them on an emotional level making them aching that Steve wasn't with them.

He finally lost the battle and was asleep before Chris finished cleaning them up.

When he woke the next morning, Christian was already out of bed. He took time to luxuriate in the first uninterrupted sleep in a month.

He was savoring his coffee when Christian pounced.

"What was the trigger?" Christian cringed inwardly. He'd meant to wait until Steve got home before asking. Patience was not his virtue.

"To what?" He knew Chris wouldn't be stalled for very long.

"Don't play stupid with me, boy." Christian slammed the spatula down after turning the pancakes on the griddle.

He stared into his coffee like it was a scrying pool, his shoulders pulled up around his ears.

Chris put the golden brown cakes on plates before trying to undo the damage he'd done. Moving around the counter Christian practically snatched him off his stool.

"Sorry, Jenny. Jist hate seein' ya all tore up like this." Chris crooned low. When Chris felt the thin body relax, he pulled him over to the table. "Now eat. You're too skinny." Christian clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shit. I've become my mother."

The hearty laugh that burst out of Jensen's mouth was worth every bit of the embarrassment to Chris.

"I happen to love your mother." His grin was mischievous as he tackled his breakfast.

"We're gonna talk when Steve gits here." Chris' tone was soft, but firm.

He nodded his agreement. "I know…it's just…I only want to do this once."

They cleared the table, and Christian finished getting ready. His ride honked from the curb.

"Sure you don't wanna come?" Christian teased.

"I have enough cons of my own, thank you very much." He walked Chris to the door. "I really need to be in our home with our stuff." Green eyes grew misty.

"Fuck." Christian wiped a hand down his face. "You're gonna ruin my tough guy rep." He grabbed another kiss before heading out the door.

When the car dropped him back at the condo, midnight was just a memory. He was exhausted, more than a little tipsy, and just wanted to wrap around Jensen and not move for a long time. He didn't get his wish. When he entered the bedroom, Jensen was already in the grip of a nightmare. Calling his name and shaking didn't wake Jensen, so Christian finished getting undressed, got under the covers and wrapped himself around the thrashing body, and started to talk. Eventually the thrashing stopped and Jensen slipped back into sleep.

As he tried to calm down enough to fall asleep, Christian wished fervently, Steve were here to help get through this emotional minefield.

He was starting to doze when he heard someone in the living room. Careful not to wake Jensen he pulled the door shut behind him. As he moved through the condo he was careful to keep to the deeper shadows. Going through the kitchen allowed him to come in behind the intruder. The silhouette he saw was as familiar as his own, so he flipped on the light.

When the light came on, Steve froze momentarily blinded. Before his vision cleared he was grabbed from behind. Before he could think his elbow shot backwards. Realizing it was Chris that had him, he tried to pull back. Christian had already blocked the elbow and was spinning him around for a kiss that left Steve pumped with adrenaline and no coherent brain cells.

"Glad yer here," Christian mumbled against his lips.

"Hmmm…can tell." Steve untangled his fingers from Christian's hair. "You cut your hair." His forehead pulled down in a frown.

"Just trimmed a couple inches." He ducked his head suddenly shy. "The ends wouldn't quit curlin'."

Steve started to chuckle when they were interrupted by sounds from their room. Chris took off down the hall, Steve hard on his heels.

"Been a lot of this?"

"Second one tonight."

They were soon wrapped around the younger man soothing the nightmare away.

Christian had left for the convention by the time Steve and Jensen stirred from the nest of covers. They lazed around the house waiting for Chris to finish up so they could spend some time together before going to Dante's.

Being familiar with convention schedules, they weren't surprised when Chris called to say he'd meet them there. Then Jason called to say he was on his way. After getting him settled in the guest room, they decided to eat at their favorite place near the club.

Will and Ryan had just been seated when they arrived so dinner became a boisterous affair of getting reacquainted.

After dinner they decided to rehearse until Christian arrived. They cajoled a reluctant Jensen until he agreed to sing lead, so it didn't take long for them to knock the rust off. They were in the middle of Let's Take A Drive when Christian, Tim and Brian Nutter came down the stairs. His mouth clamped shut when he saw the trio. They gave him wicked grins that made him blush. Chris came up behind his chair to wrap his arms around him.

"Finish the song, Jenny." He said in a stage whisper.

"Other than a dreamer, ain't nothin' but a drifter…" Christian's voice joined his and he melded their voices together in a bewitching harmony.

Silence reigned after Steve and Jason played the last note. The spell was broken by Brian.

"Holy Mother of God. How's a poor musician supposed to make a livin' around all you pretty boys that can sing like that!"

He started up the stairs to set-up. "Ain't fair I tell ya." He grumbled up the steps as their laughter followed him.

They started at the sound check and by show time everyone but him and Ryan were well into the bottle of Jack. After Tim introduced the band, he invited him to sit with him. He laid a hand on Tim's arm so the older man looked at him.

"After Fade."

They exchanged a look.

"I thought…maybe…after you know?" Tim stuttered.

"Chris wants to dedicate the show to Jason's dad."

"Gotcha. See you after that."

"Promise." He forced a smile so Tim wouldn't feel obligated to stay.

The death of Jason's dad had hit them all hard. The Southards and the Carlsons played a big part in keeping them all grounded in this crazy business. It had been him supporting Christian, Steve and Jason through the ordeal. Steve had taken up the role when Jensen had to return to Supernatural.

Steve stepped up to the mike as first Christian then Jason broke down saying the words that Christian couldn't. Jason had ducked his head and hidden behind his ringlets while Christian had made a beeline for Jensen standing in the shadows.

He felt the tears on his neck as he held tight. Chris pushed away and before he could protest he was back on stage. He started talking about writing Fade with Jason. After the first few sentences, he once again had his arms full of a weeping Christian. Jason stepped up and by the time he and Steve finished, Chris was back in control. He dropped a quick kiss on full lips and went back on stage.

He quietly worked his way around and sat next to Tim. He gave him a wide smile and a slap on the back.

The band made short work of breaking down and were on their way home, Steve sitting in the back with Christian and Jason, offering what comfort he could for their grief. He made sure an inebriated Jason got situated while Steve handled Christian.

He stalled giving everyone a chance to settle. Jason had gone out like a light, the alcohol and emotional upheaval wearing the musician down.

Ever cranky about sleeping, it had taken longer to get Chris settled. When he peeked in the door all he saw was Steve. Christian had curled tightly into the blond. Knowing his nightmares waited just out of sight, he moved back to the living room determined to let everyone else get some sleep.

Something was wrong. Something was missing. He opened his eyes. There was enough ambient light that he could make out Christian, who had finally relaxed. Then he realized what woke him. The weight on his chest was wrong. When they were all together, Jensen always slept in the middle as if afraid he would disappear, Steve and Christian kept him hemmed in and pinned down.

Steve carefully slid out from under Christian. Between alcohol and the release of emotions over Brittany and Joe's deaths, he was sure Chris would sleep through a stampede, but it didn't pay to underestimate him.

He found Jensen on the couch wrapped in Christian's OU throw, one of his thousand yard stares on his face that gave Steve the creeps.

"Jens?" He asked quietly.

Green eyes finally blinked and brought their focus on him.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"Could ask you the same thing. We haven't seen each other in months. I'd like to spend at least one night with both the people I love."

"Didn't wanna wake everyone when I start screaming like some chick in a horror movie." He sneered.

Steve straightened to his full height. "If it happens we'll deal."

"Not if-when." He grumped.

"Whatever. C'mon." He grabbed his wrist and pulled.

"I…"He started to protest.

Steve got nose to nose with him.

"Don't make me wake Christian. He'll still be drunk and VERY cranky."

"Shit. You don't fight fair, Carlson."

"I love you. I want you where you're supposed to be. Drooling on my chest with Christian draped over both of us."

"Fine." He huffed. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Steve breathed a sigh of relief as they settled. As sleep pulled him down, he smiled when he felt the mattress shift as Christian pinned Jensen against his chest. Now everything was as it should be.

No alarms were set. Christian didn't have to be on set until late. He was going to drop Jensen and Steve at the airport on the way to the studio. The plan was to enjoy their last few hours together until Jensen's hiatus.

The sounds of Jason moving around the condo and leaving roused them, but not enough to wake them fully.

Christian woke abruptly when his ribs were caught by a flailing elbow, which woke Steve when he shouted. Jensen didn't awaken--caught in his nightmare, his breathing fast and shallow. By the time they had gathered their wits, Jensen was in a full blown panic attack. Christian wrapped around him while Steve tried to talk him down.

"Easy, son, we gotcha." Chris crooned.

"Jens, look at me." Panic filled green eyes snapped up to meet calm blue.

"Slow your breathing. That's it. Don't breathe through your mouth."

He was still spooked, but he tried to do what Steve wanted.

Something banged on the outside of the condo. Jensen jerked, caught Chris in the ribs again, and sent them tumbling to the floor in a heap. He started to hyperventilate. Steve grabbed his face in both hands and looked into eyes dilated with panic.

"Jensen Ross Ackles! Look at me!" Steve emphasized his words by giving Jensen a light cuff to the side of his head. His eyes lost their wild look as he focused. Christian wrapped around him from the back.

"Breathe in through your nose slowly…hold it…count to five and let it out slowly…again."

Focusing on Steve and breathing finally grounded him enough that Steve and Chris let go. Jensen bolted for the shower. The two still on the floor soon followed. This was ending today.

Fortified with shower, aspirin and food, they returned to the big bed since it was the most comfortable seating for this conversation.

Before sitting down, he dug note card out of his laptop bag.

"What's this mean?" Steve prodded when Jensen just stared at his hands.

"At the wedding, when I signed the register, I saw it was a Westman hotel. I almost left. Then I got to my room there was one of those baskets full of fruit and shit. That note was on it. After I stopped pukin', I managed to get through the weekend."

"In the past month no one asked why you looked like warmed over road kill?" Chris asked.

"Kripke. Told him I had noisy neighbors."." His voice was sheepish.

"All the times you told us you were fine?" Two sets of blue eyes glared.

He made to climb off the bed when an iron grip closed around his wrists.

"Answer the question, boy." Christian growled.

"There was nothing you could do." He pleaded. "Steve was on tour-your days are as long as mine…" His voice trailed off as he hung limply in their grasp.

"We could have talked you through it." Steve admonished softly as he tightened his drip on Jensen's wrist.

"It would have been worth the lost sleep to make sure you were really fine." Chris' emotions made his tone harsh.

"Sorry. I dealt with it alone the first time."

"You're not alone anymore." Steve reminded.

"Ever." Christian added.

"I won't forget again." He promised.

Steve and Christian shifted their weight and pulled until Jensen sprawled across them.

A silver crew cab pick-up stopped in front of arrivals at PDX. No one took notice of the two young men who complaining good naturedly grabbed their duffels out of the bed. Interest stirred when one of the men pulled out a guitar case out of the back seat. The driver jumped out and came around to hug the men.

"Git yer ass back here soon as Kripke's done torturing' Dean."

Being one of Portland's most recognizable residents, they soon worked out the identity of the other two when several women started gushing into their phones about Kane, Carlson and Ackles.

The skycap watched as the pickup sat at the cub until the men disappeared inside. The expression on the driver's face was full of love and sadness. He picked up his walkie talkie.

If the two men sitting together resting their feet on the guitar case and talking quiet took any notice to how the PDX employees allowed them privacy, they never said, but the genuine smiles of gratitude that they received from the handsome men expressed more than mere words.

The men checked their watches and stood. A final hug and several people had to turn away from the intensity of the emotions being silently expressed and misty smiles as they went in opposite directions.

Two security guards that had been close by exchanged a look.

"When are they back at Dante's?"